yanderegal: chickensandwich: chickensandwich: if this gets 500 notes i will kill my dad with a shovel i’m not going to kill my dad. this website is the worst. don’t back out now u pussy
someonecalledmefamous: mu5icliz: germansam: tokyosluts: Sleeping is nice because youre not actually dead and youre not awake so its a win-win situation It’s like being dead without the commitment. an open relationship with death death with benefits
mcporno: keep your eyes peeled
I’M HONESTLY LAUGHING SO HARD RIGHT NOW OMFG
galacticdad: when i was little i learned what schizophrenia was from TV and for a while i was really afraid because i thought i had it since i always heard my own voice in my head so finally i told a doctor and he informed me that what i was experiencing was called thinking.
workaholicemma: fefeferi: when u accidentally hurt ur friends feelings and they insist that its fine but u know it isnt
grunkfield: im crying bc i just read an article saying that bieber literally called his manager at 3 am to say he decided that it should be spelled swaggy instead of swaggie
freeshawarmas: jehovas-witness: internetexplorers: cheese3d: nothings worse than soft grapes soft apples soft dicks ☾☻soft grunge blog☻☽
rabioheab: imagine a new born baby named grandma
horse-feces: twerks-of-being-a-wallflower: davestrjder: “haha 420 blaze it” i chuckle as i light another vanilla scented incest vanilla scented incest
notahoe: there are like 3 or 4 songs in my itunes library that make me go from depressed young adult to full on stripper in 0.02 seconds
collectyourhearts: the difference between pizza and your opinion is that i asked for pizza
harryflack: remember when esteban was calling the dead but got put on hold
sharonosbourne: paulbearer: there are people who think kit kats taste good yeah they’re called smart people
cinderlaura: cinderlaura: i’m home sick with the flu and i just received this email from my father STOP REBLOGGING THIS MY DAD THINKS HE’S SOME INTERNET SENSATION AND HE WON’T SHUT UP ABOUT IT
tomahok: my mother does not care about fashion
congragulation: WHOA kids born in 13 will be turning 2000 this year
rapewhistled: *george washington shows up to the club to party* ‘u got i.d.?’ *george pulls out a quarter* ‘ur in’
MOST EMBARRASSING THING HAPPENED TO ME TODAY AT...
tom-bass: Our teacher had the projector on and he was googling our names today in Maths so he could see and show us what came up. He typed in Tom Bass… Nothing came up. Someone said to type in ‘tumblr’ after my name, so he typed in ‘Tom Bass Tumblr” guess what it came up with. In front of the whole class, and my teacher.
Argument I heard on the bus
Guy 1: no, niggah, gay bros can raise babies. Look at that warthog motherfucker and that ferret thing that raised Simba. And that niggah became king of motherfucking Africa.
tavidan: shameglobe: fyeah-hetalia: You know what show had the biggest plot twist ever? I had absolutely no clue Blue was a girl meaning my entire childhood was spent shipping two female dogs I had a lesbian dog otp at the age of 5 omfg Magenta is a boy what the fuck
dslites: why does chad just carry a basketball to every class like, he genuinely does not have any school supplies chad u ok chad chad you’re a junior in high school this is not ok